Becoming Dad (and Mom) 2.0

Lately I've noticed something weird, something I'm not sure I like.
It seems every time I walk past a mirror I get a glimpse of my father.
Now, don't get me wrong here. I love my dad. I have great respect and admiration for him. He provided a great life for his family and gave us lots of support. So, in that way, I'd love to be like my dad because he set a great example.
If I'm being honest, the part I really struggle with, though, is the notion of looking, sounding and acting like my dad in almost every way. I've not only developed many of his mannerisms, I use many of his same expressions and I swear my voice sounds exactly like his.


I'm no psychologist. In fact, I didn't even do that well when I took Psych 101 in college. But I suppose if I had to make a guess, I'd say I'm fearful of “becoming” like my father because I'm afraid I'm losing my own identity.
Too deep? Nah, probably not.

Look, I know it's only natural. It's in the DNA. We're born with many of our parents' physical traits and over time we inherit their voice inflections, mannerisms and attitudes, too. It's just a fact of life.
But there's still the issue of losing our identities. Or at least there's the fear of that.
Frankly, I don't want to pull back the curtain to my own psyche too far. Who knows what's going on back there, right? But if I really think about it, it's a reasonable fear. After all, who wants to feel like they've lost their identity (psychologically, I mean)? Who wants to feel like they've simply become Dad (or Mom) 2.0?
It's silly, really. Sure, we may start to look like them, sound like them, even RESPOND like them in so many ways. But we still have our own identities; we still act for ourselves. We're still … us.
Perhaps it would be easier to simply blame all our bad decisions and our unflattering characteristics on our parents. But the truth of it is, that's not the way it works.
There's a lot to be said for the whole “nature vs. nurture” thing, but I'm pretty sure we're responsible for our own lives. The problem is, sometimes taking the responsibility is difficult. The good thing is, when we do it, our lives improve.
Too deep again? Nah, probably not.
You know the really funny thing about all this? Not only do I truly believe the things I've written here, I believe my parents laid the groundwork for them. Certainly they helped shape my personal philosophy – my belief system.
So, in that regard, I really am becoming like my parents, even though I know my true identity is my own to develop.
In the future I'll try to remember that next time I see my own reflection and notice my dad looking back at me.