Becoming friends with your grown-up children: What a concept!

If you're a young parent, the thought of actually becoming your child's “friend” may seem like a weird, far-off concept.
But I'm here to tell you it can happen.
As they usually do on Sunday evenings, my oldest son and his wife came to our house for dinner yesterday. They've done so almost weekly for nine months now. It has become a comfortable tradition, something we all seem to enjoy.
Why is this such a big deal? Well, for starters my son and I went through a fairly tumultuous period from the time he was 14 or 15 until he left home at 19 to serve a mission for our church. As parents and teenagers often do, we shouted at each other on a regular basis.
Harsh words were said; feelings were hurt; tears were shed.


There were times I wondered if we'd ever speak to each other again, let alone sit down for a nice family dinner together.
As I type these words I'm no more than 15 or 20 feet away from the room he lived in during those crazy teenage years. On Sunday, we watched football together in the same family room where we used to scream back and forth.
Now, I'm not revealing these things to embarrass anyone or to conjure up old feelings of frustration. The way I see it, the head-butting we engaged in a few years ago was no different that the head-butting I did with my own father back in the day.
I also feel like I'm safe in divulging our battles because parent-teenager arguments are nothing new. The bottom line is, I know my son and I weren't all that different from other fathers and sons out there.
Still, I'm grateful we've both grown up so much and I love the fact we now sit down and chat like men … like friends. It's really quite amazing. Where we once used to bark idle threats at each other, now we sit and have rewarding conversations.
Frankly I'm not sure I can finish typing this sentence without shedding a tear of joy, but the honest truth of it is, my son is my friend.
Yes, I know that can be a mind-blowing concept, especially to any parent going through that sometimes-brutal period of teenage angst. Perhaps you think things will never get better and that the bickering and the challenging of authority will go on forever. But I'm here to tell you it won't … at least it didn't with us.
I never stopped loving my son, from the first time I held him as a newborn, even through the darkest days of those difficult teen years. I love him just as much now as I did back then, but the difference is, we've got a man-to-man relationship, like a couple of buddies.
That, I suppose, is the reward for sticking it out through the tough times.
And remember, if you're a young parent going through the whole head-butting phrase, just hang in there. It'll get better.