As a young father, the thought of going out to dinner with my child in tow was enough to make me lose my appetite. I mean, it really made me cringe.
Of course it was a chore to haul around his extra supplies: diaper bag, the baby blue coat we used to cram him into, the hat we'd put on his head, the car seat, etc. But the most unnerving thing about taking him to a restaurant was the threat of him fussing and ultimately disrupting everybody around us.
Like most parents, we usually got a babysitter, but on those occasions when we couldn't find one, we'd bring him along with us. As I recall, he was usually a pretty good baby. But I distinctly remember a few occasions when he got upset, began crying and ruined the experience. One of us would have to take him out and the other, feeling guilty, would usually follow (because who wants to sit there and eat alone, anyway).
Okay, now you're asking, why am I broaching this subject? I mean, I'm the guy who blogs about being a middle-aged father whose kids are all but grown up, why am I writing about fussing babies in restaurants?
The reason is, over the past year or so I've noticed a number of friends/colleagues/acquaintances have become first-time parents. Now that I'm an old guy whose done the whole newborn baby thing, I feel the need to offer some unsolicited advice.
And that advice is: relax, don't stress out.
As I noted earlier, taking our little bundle of joy (who's now in his 20s) out to dinner was a major ordeal and a legitimate fear. But now, with my middle-aged perspective, my heart goes out to anyone living that same little adventure.
Now, I obviously can't speak for everyone, and I'm sure there are some grown-ups out there who genuinely dislike the sound of a child fussing or a toddler crying, but I'm not all that bothered by it. The way I see it, it's just part of life. After all, every one of us started out as an infant, with very limited communication skills. Kids are going to fuss and cry in public. Other than calmly dealing with the situation, there's just not that much any of us can do about it.
So, as I noted, my advice to young parents is not to worry too much about it. So your baby cries in a restaurant, big deal. He's not the first to ever do such and thing and he won't be the last.
Speaking strictly as someone who's been there before, I can honestly say a child crying nearby has never ruined my dinner, airplane trip or visit to the local Target. Honestly? I've never even shot a dirty look at the parent or the child. If anything, I usually find myself sympathising with both of them.
The poor child usually just needs a nap and the parents, well, they just need to know it's nothing more than one of life's little hiccups.
My advice to young parents is, don't stress over it, don't become overwhelmed by it. Just deal with it as best you can.
And my advice to everybody else? Have a little compassion.
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